Dear Apple,

image I’m not a fan. Yes, your hardware is awesome. The Mac Book Pro is possibly the best laptop on the market for Vista. I’ll probably buy one for my next machine. You were first with the iPod (congrats with that), but I *love* the UI and innovation lately with my Zune. I still use my iPod Nano, but only with Rock Box (Linux) on it. But, why oh why do you insist on shipping iTunes with everything? (ahem, apple TV, QuickTime, etc..) Plus, I hate QuickTime. It was nice for a season, but to me… it’s like using RealPlayer. (Why would you). Give me Flash video or a WMV any day. And why is it Apple that you hate your developers? No seriously, you seem to despise the people that love your "platform".

That being said, I want to help you. yes, this may seem far-fetched, but I want to give you my sagely wisdom for taking over the world. I find that most things that are wrong with the world… they didn’t take my advice. No, really… you can look at almost anything wrong in the world and just say to your self, "I bet they didn’t ask Caleb before they did that"… and you’d probably be right.

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So here you go, take this advice and conquer all… ignore it, and be like those other people that didn’t take my advice. The choice (in my best Morpheus to Neo voice) I leave to you.

Here are the Three Steps to take over the world:

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